Little Howard's Little Blog

Little Howard's Blog's new home

2009-09-18T15:12:00.003Z

In case you hadn't noticed, I don't blog here any more. My blog is now here:

http://www.littlehowardblog.com

Come and have a look.

New Appeal Show Tour Dates Announced

2006-06-18T12:22:00.002Z

New Little Howard Appeal dates (grown-up shows)

7th November 2006, Nordon Farm Arts Centre, Maidenhead, http://nordenfarm.org/

New Appeal Show Tour Dates Announced

2006-06-18T12:22:00.001Z

New Little Howard Appeal dates (grown-up shows)

7th November 2006, Nordon Farm Arts Centre, Maidenhead, http://nordenfarm.org/

New Appeal Show Tour Dates Announced

2006-06-18T12:22:00.000Z

New Little Howard Appeal dates (grown-up shows)

7th November 2006, Nordon Farm Arts Centre, Maidenhead, http://nordenfarm.org/

New Tour Dates Announced

2006-06-18T11:57:00.000Z

Hello

Here are some more dates that have been added to the tours of The Little Howard Appeal (for Grown-ups) and The Little Howard Kid's Show.

kid's show

15th July 2006, The Liverpool Comedy Festival, www.liverpoolcomedyfestival.co.uk, The Unity Theatre

30 July 2006, Battersea Arts Centre, 17.30, http://www.bac.org.uk/

7th November 2006, Nordon Farm Arts Centre, Maidenhead, http://nordenfarm.org/

1st December 2006, The Junction, Cambridge www.junction.co.uk, BOX OFFICE 01123 511 511

3rd December 2006, Stables Theatre, Hastings, BOX OFFICE 01424 423221, www.stables-theatre.co.uk

8th and 9th December 2006, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, details soon.

New Kid's Show!

2006-04-25T08:10:00.000Z

Big Howard and Little Howard are creating a show just for kids!

After years of being told "you should do a show for children", and foolishly not listening, we're doing a show for children!

We're touring it in the afternoons and early evenings starting from june.

See previous post for dates. Come along and bring the kids.

It's the same high-calibre comedy animated fun, but without the scary rude bits.

Howard

New Tour Dates

2006-04-25T08:09:00.000Z

hello

Me and Little Howard are going on tour! we're doing two shows, The Little Howard Appeal, our highly acclaimed show which debuted at last year's Edinburgh Festival.

We are also touring a brand new Little Howard show for kids!

These are the dates so far and some contact information for booking tickets.

The Little Howard Appeal
not for kids.

19th May 2006, Beaford Arts, Greenwarren House, Beaford, Winkleigh, Devon, EX19 8LU. BOX OFFICE 01805 603201

31st May 2006, York Digital Arts Festival (details to follow)

8th June 2006, The Original Oak, 2 Otley Road, Headingly, Leeds, LS20 8PS. Enquiries: 0113 275 1322

23rd June 2006, The Tower Arts Centre, Winchester, www.towerarts.co.uk/whatson/jun07.html BOX OFFICE 01962 867986

24th June 2006, Windsor Arts Centre, 8.30pm, The Old Court, St Leonards Road, Windsor, www.windsorartscentre.org BOX OFFICE 01753 859336 (NB: The Little Howard Kid's Show is also on that day)

29th June 2006, The Arc Arts Centre, Stockton. BOX OFFICE 01642 525199 www.arconline.co.uk

9th July 2006, The Hawth Theatre, Crawley. www.hawth.co.uk BOX OFFICE 01293 553636

13th July 2006, The Brewhouse, Taunton, www.thebrewhouse.net, BOX OFFICE 01823 283244, (NB: The Little Howard Kid's show is also showing this day)

15th July 2006, The Liverpool Comedy Festival (venue TBC), www.liverpoolcomedyfestival.co.uk

8th August 2006, Cardiff, (details soon)

8th October 2006, South Street Arts Centre, Reading. www.readingarts.com (NB: The Little Howard Kid's show is also on at this venue during the day)

Little Howard's Kid's Show

2nd June, Gulbenkian Theatre, Canterbury. BOX OFFICE 01227-769075. www.kent.ac.uk/gulbenkian/

24th June 2006, Windsor Arts Centre, 12.30pm, The Old Court, St Leonards Road, Windsor. www.windsorartscentre.org BOX OFFICE 01753 859336 (NB: The Little Howard Appeal show for adults is also on that day)

11th July 2006, Newbury Corn Exchange, BOX OFFICE 01635 522733

13th July 2006, The Brewhouse, Taunton, www.thebrewhouse.net, BOX OFFICE 01823 283244, (NB: The Little Howard Appeal show for adults is also showing in the evening)

30th July 2006, Gloucester, TBC.

2nd August 2006, Broxbourne Civic Hall, Hoddesdon, Herts. Contact 01992 441946.

12th August 2006, Leicester (details to follow)

19th August 2006, Haverhilll Arts Centre, www.haverhill-uk.com/artscentre, BOX OFFICE 01440 714140

16th September 2006, The Egg Theatre, Theatre Royal, Bath, www.theatreroyal.org.uk/egg, Contact 01225 823409 (two shows)

1st October 2006, Barnet Arts Depot, www.artsdepot.co.uk, BOX OFFICE 020 8369 5454

8th October 2006, South Street Arts Centre, Reading. www.readingarts.com (NB: The Little Howard Appeal show for adults is also on at this venue in the evening)

21st February 2007, West End Centre, Aldershot. www.westendcentre.co.uk BOX OFFICE 01252 330040.

Come and see them, or we'll beat you up.

click here for www.littlehoward.co.uk

The Animated Album is back!

2006-02-14T10:56:00.001Z

Hello

after a brief haietus (sp?) Howard Read's Animated Album is back on the ebay store.

Sorry for the gap but I've been away from home for ages.

Howard

Big Howard Little Howard Store

The Animated Album is back!

2006-02-14T10:56:00.000Z

Hello

after a brief haietus (sp?) Howard Read's Animated Album is back on the ebay store.

Sorry for the gap but I've been away from home for ages.

Howard

Big Howard Little Howard Store

Little Howard At Leicester Comedy Festival

2006-02-09T12:27:00.000Z

we're doing two shows at this year's Leicester Comedy Festival. At Bambu on thursday 16th and Leicester Student Union on Saturday 18th. See http://www.howardread.com/gigs.html for details

New Stock of DVDs Available

2006-01-17T01:32:00.000Z

Hello.

Having sold out completely of DVDs over new-year I've made some more! And they're available here.

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Big-Howard-Little-Howard-Shop

We've been getting great feedback. If you want to look at it, it's here.

http://feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=howardread&ssPageName=STRK:ME:UFS

Little Howard Street

2006-01-06T03:15:00.000Z

A nice man who bought one of Big Howard's DVDs sent us an email wanting us to go and talk to his students about comedy and telling us that there's a "Little Howard Street" in Liverpool. They probably named after we did a preview during the Liverpool Comedy Festival last year (the show wasn't finished, and Big Howard didn't know all his words, but I think I was still worth naming a street after). It's next to Great Howard Street, but I don't know a Great Howard, just a big one.

Here it is on multi-map:
Link

Please note that this man bought a DVD before becoming all familiar and sending us emails. If you want to talk to us you have to buy a DVD or offer us a guest lecture spot at the very least.
Shop

Thank you

Little Howard

Two Posh Old Men DVDs

2005-12-11T00:47:00.000Z

Hello

All 30 episodes of my UKTV cartoon The Two Posh Old Men are now available to buy here.

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Big-Howard-Little-Howard-Shop

Link

You can also buy more of Howard Read's Animated Album if you like.

Howard

More DVDs available

2005-12-06T10:23:00.000Z

The last batch of DVDs sold out almost immediately, which is nice. So I've put some more up.

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Big-Howard-Little-Howard-Shop

Link

Big Howard Little Howard Ebay shop open!

2005-12-02T18:01:00.001Z

DVDs of Howard's animation, including Little Howard are now available at http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Big-Howard-Little-Howard-Shop

Link

go and buy them now please.

Howard

Big Howard Little Howard Ebay shop open!

2005-12-02T18:01:00.000Z

DVDs of Howard's animation, including Little Howard are now available at http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Big-Howard-Little-Howard-Shop

Link

go and buy them now please.

Howard

Little Howard at The Soho Theatre

2005-11-21T12:51:00.000Z

Come and see The Little Howard Appeal at the Soho Theatre (21 Dean Street, London W1D 3NE) at 9pm, 1st - 3rd December.

Book Tickets on 0870 429 6883 or at http://www.sohotheatre.com

If you can't come, watch this, so that you wish you could, or feel compelled to forward this email to all your friends in london.

If you can come, watch this anyway, it's great!

QUICKTIME: http://www.littlehoward.co.uk/sohotrail.mov
FLASH: http://www.littlehoward.co.uk/sohotrail.swf

Here is what some fancy critics have said about it.

"I pity the fool that misses this" Metro

"His best and most ambitious show yet" The Scotsman

"Damn good" The Guardian

ALSO! The show will see the release of new DVDs of Howard's animations and of The Two Posh Old Men, Howard's cult cartoon series as seen on UKTV.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and NEW! web diarys:
http://littlehoward.blogspot.com/
http://howardread.blogspot.com/

www.howardread.com
www.littlehoward.co.uk

Little Ben Cartoon

2005-09-24T11:19:00.000Z

If you liked the pictures of Little Ben I've just found a flim of him. it is here.

http://www.littlehoward.co.uk/meetlittleben.html

click here

He's very nice, I hope you like him.

Please can you all leave posts asking Big Howard to draw me a jet-pack too. I've been here for ages, Little Ben has only just arrived and he gets a jet pack. Where's the justice in that?

Little Howard

Little Ben

2005-09-13T17:27:00.000Z

This is Big Howard's new character who isn't based on me at all.

He is for a thing for children's tevelision about Parliament. he is a Alien.

He is like me, but he's an alien, and he's called Ben.

this is Ben being elected to Parliament.

this is ben "illegally downloading music"

This is ben supporting the olympic bid.

this is another picture of ben.

This is ben with a jet pack. I want a jet pack, but Big Howard won't draw me one.

Little Howard

new LITTLE HOWARD date in Manchester

2005-09-13T10:52:00.000Z

Hello

We're doing a show on 14th of October in Oldham, near Manchester for Children In need.

More details when they come.

LH

THE LITTLE HOWARD APPEAL - dates

2005-09-05T15:34:00.000Z

We are going to take our show on tour. It isn't organized yet but we do have some dates already

Friday 2nd and Saturday 3rd September, The Lamproom Theatre, Barnsley
Thursday 8th September, THE LITTLE HOWARD APPEAL, Roar With Laughter, Colliers Wood, with the fabulous Josie Long as support.
Wednesday 5th October, THE LITTLE HOWARD APPEAL, possible corporate gig in Belgium, TBC.
Wednesday 19th October, THE LITTLE HOWARD APPEAL, The Brighton Comedy Festival.

watch this space for a national tour and dates at The Soho Theatre amongst others.

(please)

or click on the link to see all my and Big Howard's live dates. - www.howardread.com/gigs.html

Little Howard

Link

2005-09-01T14:11:00.000Z

This is Andy Parsnips. He played me in our last show at the Edinburgh Festival on Sunday 28th of August. He was very good, and liked wearing the wig a lot.

This is Simon Amstel off of T4 on television. He played me on Saturday 27th of August. Ross Noble wanted to play me today as well, but had to be on the radio so he wasn't allowed. Ross's mum told him he had to play me in the show so he's going to be in big trouble when he gets home.

This is Andrew Maxwell, and Flynn and Luke. They played me on friday 26th of August. Luke and Flynn asked some very interesting questions as well. They are nice, but I am scared of Luke's dad because he talks to loud and is Austrailian.

This is Paul, Dan and Jeremy from The Trap who played me on Thursday 25th August. They are very very funny and they do a very good sketch show called The Trap, where they ride The Goodie's Bike. They also do "Bad Play" which Big Howard was in lots, pretending to be deaf.

This is Stuart Lee. He played me on Wednesday 24th August. He was very good, and didn't say anything about The Lord Jesus that might get us in trouble.

This is Peter Buckley-Hill is a comedian and singer and he is "as mad as a fucking badger" but brilliant. He played me today on Tuesday 23rd August and was very good, especially at waving.

This is John Oliver. He is a political comedian and he works with a funny clown called andy Zaltzman. he could not play me because his hair wouldn't fit in the wig. John played me on Monday 22nd of August.

I think that is everyone.

thank you very much for your time.

We're going to go on tour I hope so I'll try and tell you about that as soon as possible.

Little Howard

2005-08-21T16:13:00.000Z

Rob Deering was me today (sunday 21st) he used to be an actor, so he was very good. Germain from Flight Of The Concords came to see the show today. Big Howard called him a 'wanker', but he didn't mind.

This is Ewen Macintosh, he was Keith in the office. And Me. (saturday 20th)

His is Demitri Martin, he beat us to the Perrier Award in 2003, but he helped the show today (friday 19th), so Big Howard likes him now.

Little Howard

Little Howard Appeal Wrist Bands

2005-08-18T16:35:00.000Z

Hello

The wristbands for The Little Howard Appeal have arrived! They are brilliant. We are selling them for One Pound after the show (4.25pm finish) in the White Belly in Smirnoff Underbelly. Come and buy one. All profits (about 50p a band) are going to be given to Great Ormond Street Hospital for poorly children.

If you've already left edinburgh and you want one email Big Howard at wristband@littlehoward.co.uk

Little Howard

Link

More people playing me

2005-08-18T16:20:00.000Z

Hello

here are the other people who have been me in our show this week.

Thursday 11th August. Scott Capurro. He is a very nice man. He is from America in gayland.

Friday 12th, Robin Ince (again - he likes it a lot)

Saturday 13th, Daniel Kitson. Big Howard says that Daniel is sometimes a bit grumpy, but he's always nice to me. I think he might think that big Howard is a "dickweed".

sunday 14th, David O'Doherty. David wore a sweatband, like one of the kids from fame, he was very good.

Monday 15th, Dara O'Brien. Dara is on telly and it was very nice of him to be me.

Tuesday 16th, Micheal Legge. He is irish.

Thursday 18th, Tim Vine. Mr Vine once was asked "Do you know Howard Read" and Mr Vine said "you'd just put a book in front of me and I'd move my eyes." He is very funny, but funny like an uncle.

Little HOward

Link

All the people being me

2005-08-10T17:38:00.000Z

Hello

Our edinburgh festival show are going very well. These are the people who have been playing me in our show, while I am poorly.

Sunday 7th August. Robin Ince is like a boy called Haydon at my school he reads books and smells a little bit like broccoli.

Monday 8th Augusts. Chris Addison played me on monday. he found it quite easy as he is practically two-dimensional anyway. (I mean he's very thin (Big Howard calls him "Concave" not thick).

Bennet Arron was me yesterday and was the I think he got my shape right the best.

Jason Byrne played me today. He was very good, but a bit hyperactive.

Little Howard.

Edinburgh Fridge Festival

2005-08-03T13:15:00.000Z

hello

I am at the edinburgh festival doing a show with Big Howard. It's going to be very good. It's at 3.30 at the Smirnoff Underbelly, which is on cowgate, but there aren't any real cows, just pictures of them.

the show is called Howard Read: The Little Howard Appeal. I don't know why his name comes first, I'm a bit angry about it.

I am going to try and keep telling you what is happening if I can. but the keyboards in internet cafes are on very high tables and sometimes I can't reach.

Little howard

Preview Dates for Howard's shows

2005-06-08T11:41:00.000Z

HOWARD READ; THE 2005 COMEBACK SPECIAL
Tuesday 21st June, Downstairs at the King's Head, Crouch End, London. doors 8pm. £7/£5. http://www.downstairsatthekingshead.com/
Thursday 14th July, Newbury Comedy Festival, AFC Newbury, Faraday road stadium, Newbury RG14 2AD. 9pm £5/£4 01635 522733 (double bill with robin ince)
Wednesday 20th July, The Hen and Chickens, 109 St Paul's Road, Highbury Corner, London N1 2NA Box Office: 020 7704 2001 9.15pm
Sunday 24th July, Colchester Arts Centre, Church St, Colchester, Essex Box Office 01206 500 900 8pm http://www.colchesterartscentre.com/

Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Thu 4 August - Sun 28 August 2005 Smirnoff Underbelly, Venue 61, Edinburgh Central Library, George V Bridge, Edinburgh Box Office: 0870 745 3083 8pm £10/£9

THE LITTLE HOWARD APPEAL
Thursday 16th June, The Original Oak, Headingly, Leeds. £5.00, doors 8pm, show 9pm
Monday 4th July, Old Rope, 22 Below, 22 Great Marlborough Street, London, W1. 020 7437 4106. 8.30pm £5/£3.
Thursday 7th July, The Leskar, Hunters Bar, Sheffield. doors 8.15, show 9.00. reserve tickets 0114 2679787
Sunday 10th July, Lowdown At The Albany, Great Portland Street, london. 240 Great Portland Street W1W 5QU. 020 7387 5706 http://www.lowdownatthealbany.com.
Tuesday 12th July, Downstairs at the King's Head, Crouch End, London. doors 8pm. £7/£5. http://www.downstairsatthekingshead.com/
Tuesday 19th July, The Riverside Studios, Hammersmith, Crisp Road, Hammersmith, London W6 9RL Box Office: 020 8237 1111 http://www.riversidestudios.co.uk (double bill with Natalie Haynes)
Tuesday 26th July, The Cheeky Monkey Comedy Club, The Station, 7 High Street, Kings Heath, Birmingham, B14 7BB, Doors 8.00pm Show 8.30pm Tel 0121 4441257
Saturday 30th July, The Comedy Box, The Hen and Chickens, 210 North Street, Bedminster, Bristol, 0117 922 3683 8.30pm

EDINBURGH FRINGE FESTIVAL
Thu 4 August - Sun 28 August 2005 Smirnoff Underbelly, Venue 61, Edinburgh Central Library, George V Bridge, Edinburgh Box Office: 0870 745 3083 3.30pm £10/£9

SOFT PLAY AREA ANIMATED TRAILER

2005-05-31T10:14:00.000Z

Hello

click here to see an animated trailer for LITTLE HOWARD'S SOFT PLAY AREA on Sunday 5th June.

http://www.littlehoward.co.uk/spa3trailer.html

Link

details below

Howard

3rd Soft Play Area!

7.30 pm, Sunday 5th June 2005

Little Howard's third monthly show Lowdown At The Albany will include:

Ida Barr - Music Hall singer/hip-hop artiste (from Chris Green, creator of Tina C)

Natalie Haynes - Perrier Best Newcomer Nominee, highly-acclaimed stand-up and Ian Turing fan.

Chris Banks - Former Keyboard player from Busted!

Also Little Howard will be Interviewing George W Bush, by satelite, performing a Tarot Reading (with Top Trumps cards) for a member of the audience and you can meet our new Roadie, called Dave.

Lowdown at The Albany

240 Great Portland Street W1 5QU

tickets: 020 73875706

Soft Play Area 3 - Sunday 5th June

2005-05-24T10:17:00.000Z

Hello

On Sunday 5th June we are going to do our third LITTLE HOWARD'S SOFT PLAY AREA at Lowdown At The Albany.

This month my guests will be

Ida Barr who is a nice old lady who used to work in "Music Hall" but now is a hiphop artist.

Natalie Haynes who was nominated for The Perrier Best Newcomer and is going to test me for Dyslexia.

Chris Banks who was keyboard player for BUSTED!, who couldn't do last month because his jokes were stolen by burglars.

Also I will be doing a Tarump Reading, which is like a Tarot Reading, but uses Top Trumps cards. You can also meet our new Roadie called Dave, who doesn't beleive in me and there will be lots of other new stuff too.

please some along

7.30pm, Sunday 5th June
Lowdown at The Albany
240 Great Portland Street W1 5QU

tickets: 020 73875706

Little Howard

Bugglery!

2005-05-24T09:27:00.000Z

I'm sorry that i haven't posted anything for a while, but it's because I was nearly stolen.

Nasty men broke into our house and stole "anything that wasn't nailed down", but Howard said. And Big Howard doesn't nail many things down, so that means that they stole a lot.

They stole my projector, which we use in our show, and three laptops, and a "hard drive" which had lots of bits of my brain backed up on it. Luckily Big Howard is a bit weird and carries two laptops around with him most of the time, so the didn't take anything that Big Howard couldn't find somewhere else.

Big Howard said that if he hadn't been lucky with with way he backs things up I would have lost half of my brain and it would be like I'd had a "stroke". i don't want one of them, because they are rude.

Indispite of the buggery we still did our second Soft Play Area show and it went very well. Adam Bloom was on it, and he was very very funny and told me all about ladybirds and told some jokes. Glenn Wool did lots of jokes about The Pope with H-Bot 2000 (the funny robot from the future) and I told the lassies and gentleben about The History Of Pop with 56 year-old gay DJ Paul Gambochini.

Big Howard is bought a gun and has written "just try it! junky scum" across the front of our house, but the people in the flats upstairs keep on telling him that he's not allowed to do that.

Little Howard

Investment Trusts!!!!

2005-05-24T09:16:00.000Z

Me and Big Howard just did a thing called a "After Dinner Speach" to lots of people in suits at "the Dorchester Hotel". It was great fun.

The people who run the Dorchester all wear even posher suits than everyone else. Big Howard turned up wearing normal cloths and he said that the staff there looked at him like "shit on their shoe". When he put his suit on they were much nicer and looked at him "like shit on their shoe, but like it might have been their own shit"

We did a show for lots of people in suits who work in a thing called "Investment Trusts". I thought they said "investment trusses" and thought they sold corsetts to people who wanted to help their careers (like when they wouldn't let Big Howard present Robot Wars, because he was too fat), but it's not that, it means something about money.

We wrote lots of new jokes about "Investment Trusts" and they laughed a lot.

I said that I thought it was more work than our normal shows, but Big Howard told me to shut up, and that it had paid of our "central heating".

We want to do more After Dinner speaking please.

Little Howard

Little Howard's Soft Play Area 2!!!!

2005-04-27T09:23:00.000Z

Hello

I'm sorry I haven't posted for ages, it's because I've been very very very busy.

Our first show at the Albany was brilliant and very successful. And very funny.

The next one is on sunday 1st of may, and that is why we're so busy.

It's going to have lots of new sketches in it and it will have Adam Bloom who is very funny, doing stand-up and my Comedy Master Class and it will have my friend H-Bot 2000 doing a talk show (he's like a metal Trisha!) with Canadian funny, hairy man Glenn Wool which will be brilliant!

Most exitingingly Chris Banks will be on, who used to play keyboards for Busted and I am going to interview him, and he is going to be my friend.

please come along it is a

Lowdown At the Albany
240 Great Portland Street
London W1W 5QU

Tickets 020 73875706

bye bye

Little Howard

CORRECTION

2005-03-30T16:16:00.001Z

hello

it seems that the ticket-line number for LOWDOWN AT THE ALBANY was wrong. The correct number is 020 7387 5706.

I've corrected it most places below but not all, perhaps

Howard

CORRECTION

2005-03-30T16:16:00.000Z

hello

it seems that the ticket-line number for LOWDOWN AT THE ALBANY was wrong. The correct number is 020 7387 5706.

I've corrected it most places below but not all, perhaps

Howard

Little Howard's Soft Play Area!

2005-03-26T14:00:00.001Z

Hooray! The first of my new monthly show The Soft Play Area is startling next week.

These are the people who are going to be on it:

Dan Antopolski (Triple Perrier Award Nominee) performing his fantastic stand-up and a sketch with Little Howard
Simon Fanshawe (Perrier Award Winner, original alternative comic and broadcaster) is going to be interviewing me.
Mark Talbot, who is a very funny new comedian, is going to be learning how to be as funny as me in my Comedy Master Class
And most importantly I am going to be interviewing The Ice Cream Man!!!!

It is going to be brilliant, you have to come to it or you will be very sad.

here are the details of it and stuff

7.30, Sunday 3rd April
Lowdown at The Albany
240 Great Portland Street W1W 5QU
tickets: 020 73875706

Edinburgh 2005: The Little Howard Appeal

2005-03-17T01:58:00.000Z

Hello!

I am going to the Edinburgh Fridge Festival again this year! I wasn't going to go because Big Howard wanted the attention this year, but he changed his mind because his manager said I was a "Cash Cow". I don't know what that means, but I think it's rude. When it's the summer I am going to put ants on Big Howard's Manager's tie.

The show is going to be called The Little Howard Appeal and it is going to be about me being a thing called "A Coma". It is going to be very funny.

We are going to be doing some things called "Warm Up Shows" which are these things here.

Warm-up Preview dates for The Little Howard Appeal booked to date are:
20th April, Just The Tonic, Caberet, Fletcher Gate, Nottingham (http://www.justthetonic.com/)
16th June, The Origonal Oak, Headingly, Leeds
9th July, The Red Rose, Finsbury Park (http://www.redrosecomedy.co.uk/)
12th July, Downstairs at The King's Head, Crouch End, London (http://www.downstairsatthekingshead.com/)

If you want to go and see Big Howard without me to see if he is rubbish when I'm not there then look at these things.

Work-In-Progress shows for Howard Read: The 2005 Comeback Special booked to date are:
21st March, The Etcetera Theatre, Camden (http://www.etceteratheatre.com/)
25th April, The Etcetera Theatre, Camden
21st June, Downstairs at The King's Head, Crouch End, London (http://www.downstairsatthekingshead.com/)
7th July, The Lescar, Sheffield

thank you very much

Little Howard

Little Howard's Soft Play Area

2005-03-17T01:48:00.000Z

Me and Big Howard are doing a big show every month at "Lowdown At The Albany", which is on Great Portland Street, which is a nice street, but it's not "great".

here is the front of the flyer that Big Howard is making for it.

It is going to be every single first sunday of the month, except August, because we are going to Edinburgh, and July, because we are going to the wedding of two scousers. We might do one on a different day in July, if we haven't been stolen.

The first show will be on Sunday 3rd of April and it will be the best of our things so far, and I will be interviewed live on stage by a special guest who I can't say who it is.

The Second show will be on Sunday 1st of May and then I will do some sketches with Adam Bloom, Glen Wool and Chris Banks who used to play keyboards for Busted!

the other shows will be very good too.

here is the back of the flyer that Big Howard is making

byebye

Little Howard

Howard and Me in Nottingham

2005-03-05T16:25:00.000Z

Me and Big Howard are in Nottingham, where Robin Hood lives. I wanted to find some Robbing Hoods, but we couldn’t because Big Howard spent all our time getting angry about signs. Big Howard is dyslexic. Big Howard says that I am dyslexic too, but most six year olds can’t read very well, so it doesn’t matter yet.

Big Howard has always got angry about this shop, because he says it confuses him, and makes him think it sells something that it doesn’t.

But he says that in Nottingham everyone’s trying to do the same joke. Big Howard calls it “misleading spelling” and it makes him furious-angry. Firstly we saw this:

This is a massage parlour that can’t spell. And what was worse Big Howard went in an asked for a massage, and they didn’t even do them. He was complaining about ‘extras’ and I told him that he should ask for them in The Halifax Bank.

I found this one. It says 'sweet shop' spelt wrong, and they don't even sell sweets.

I can read the word 'mother' because I haven't got one. I said to Big Howard that his was wrong as well because Laurence Llewellyn Bownen isn't a ‘mother’. Big Howard said “well his is, and he isn’t.” I didn’t understand but think that if is he a mother he is very pretty, and if he isn’t a mother, then he makes me very confused.

This isn't about this, but the other day I found the Tardis in the park. It has seen better days. I tried to push it, but I couldn't.

goodbye.

I'm going to be on telly!

2005-02-14T01:07:00.000Z

This week I am going to be on the television. I did a show called 28 Acts In 28 Minutes. It's on BBC3 on tuesday 15th of February at 9.30. I don't know how long the show lasts, and I don't know how many other acts are on it, but I'm definitely going to be on it.

Big Howard isn't on it, and because he isn't on it he isn't talking to me and he's making me cook my own dinners.

Please watch it as it's very good.

thank you

Little Howard

it's christmas!

2005-02-10T13:37:00.000Z

It's not, but Big Howard has found this and wants me to show it to you. It's an article he wrote last year for Time Out magasine at christmas:

Big and Little Christmas
By Howard Read

Having an imaginary, animated child of my own has made me nostalgic for how Christmas used to be. Watching Little Howard (the world’s first and only six-year-old animated, interactive stand-up comedian) I’m reminded, strangely, of myself as a child. As I write this he is praying to Father Christmas, and to the Lord Jesus, and in fact to anyone with a beard that will listen, that Christmas morning will bring him a pedal car and a twelve part series on terrestrial TV. Sweet innocent days.

Christmas for me when I was Little Howard’s age was about waking up with a sock magically full of satsumas. It was getting your parents out of bed by accidentally knocking the tree over on your little brother at four in the morning (Little Howard doesn’t wake me up, he lives in a computer and it has a ‘mute’ button).

I’m sure Christmas has changed since I was Little Howard’s age. Carol singers, for example: The Carol singer’s remember from my childhood were straight out of Dickens; all ruddy cheeks and mince pies, singing their hearts out in the snow, whilst, in the background an elderly Jewish gentleman trained children to steal their pocket handkerchiefs. The last time carol singers called at our house in Walthamstow it was like Trick-or-Treat, but a bit more sinister. Two surly-looking teenagers in shell-suits started singing Good king Wenseslas at me with menaces. To give them their dues they sang for me like they’d never sung before - not once. What’s more I only got one verse, and I’m pretty sure the “deep and crisp and even” bit in that verse refers to snow rather than pizza.

The main thing is Christmas isn’t as fun when you’re grown up. Bit-by-bit, as you get older the joys of Christmas are taken from you one-by-one. Christmas dinner looses a lot of its charm the first time you have to cook it yourself. The joy of sneaking into the living room and shaking all your presents to see what you’ve got is ruined the first time someone gets you wine glasses. Pretending you’re asleep when “Father Christmas” slips into your bedroom is much easier than pretending you weren’t having sex. Finally, as a comic laughing, the fun of laughing at how bad the Christmas Cracker jokes are was ruined the first time I found they’d been stealing mine.

I think, apart from Little Howard, the reason I’m feeling nostalgic is that I’m spending Christmas away from my parents for the first time. I’m going to be in Oldham with my girlfriend and her folks. This is partly because we want to spend Christmas together . but mainly I want to be in Oldham so I can get closer to the true meaning of Christmas by spending it somewhere with a similar level of racial tension to The Holy Land.

Big Howard and Little Howard’s Christmas Appeal
This Christmas: Remember the Gimps

This Christmas spare a thought for the Gimps. Gimps are simple, docile creatures who’s only joy in life is being battered about the bottom with a barbed-wire effigy of Margaret Thatcher. They can’t survive in the wild, left to their own devices they are hunted down for their skin and their zips. Many are taken by wild animals as their only means of defence is shouting a “Safe” word which many bears don’t understand.

Gimps: Do they know it’s Christmas time at all? No, not if you’ve left the in the sensory deprivation tank.

a day in the park

2005-01-23T13:21:00.000Z

Today in the park I saw a real Pushmepullyou, like off Doctor Dolittle (the singing one, not the black man one with the moustache). It was a dog which was the same at both ends. We took at photo of it, it is here.

Then we went for a walk around the park and Big Howard wanted to tell me all about the different sort of trees that grew in the park, so I went to play in the sand-pit.

While I was at the sand-pit I discovered that the Pushmepullyou Dog wasn't exactly the same at both ends. Then Big Howard took me to the doctors to "make sure I don't go blind".

Little Howard

http://www.littlehoward.co.uk

my new Blog

2005-01-14T19:20:00.000Z

Hello. My name is Little Howard and I am six. I am the world's first six-year-old, animated interactive standing-up comedian.

This is my blog. I don't know what a blog is, but this is it.

In my blog I am going to tell you all the exiting things that happen to me.

Nothing exiting has happened to me today. I have had my breakfast tried to watch Balamore, but Big Howard said I had to write a "blog".

Big Howard is typing everything I say and I think he may have stopped paying attention. He's just typing and looking out the window at the dustmen collecting all the bins. A minute ago when I said "I want to go and watch Balamore, this is boring" he typed it but then noticed what I'd said and deleted it. He said "Now you've got to take this seriously Little Howard, it will let help with your career." But he hasn't stopped and deleted this bit yet. Brilliant! Big Howard is my Zombie Slave!

This Blog thing might not be as boring as I thought.

Things that are going on at the moment are these.

We've just had Christmas and it was great. I got some roller skates. I fell over a lot and cried and said roller skates were stupid so Big Howard took them back and got me Yatzi instead. It's a game with dice, but Puddle, my dog ate one of the dice, but it's okay because now I just play Monopoly, but with FOUR DICE!

Before Christmas Me and Big Howard went to Los Angeles, which is in America and talked to lots of men with cigars. It was very nice. We saw the Hollywood sign and Auntie Joyce and Whoopie Goldberg.

We are starting to organise a show that we can do every month called "Little Howard's Soft Play Area" which will be me and Big Howard being funny with lots of guests. It will probably be at Lowdown At The Albany on Great Portland Street in London, but that's not for definite yet. We want to do it in other towns too, every month, it's going to be great. Big Howard says it will be like Morcambe and Wise, but I want it to be like The Muppets.

Also Big Howard is re-doing my lovely website which is at http://www.littlehoward.co.uk.

He is also working out a way that we can make cartoons for people's video phones. There are some here http://www.littlehoward.co.uk/stuff.html. They are very good.

I like blogs now, so I will try and update this regularly, even if Balamore is on.

Big Howard I've finished now.

thank you very much

Little Howard

http://www.littlehoward.co.uk

Link